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Dear News Outlets,
Please stop reporting about Taylor Swift’s attendance at professional sporting events. While I’m usually overwhelmed with the sheer volume of terrible news coming from around the globe and happy from time to time to read something lighthearted, I’m also tired of you reporting things that are not news or even newsworthy.
I know, I know … it’s what sells. I wonder, however, if for just a short period, kind of like … Booze Free January or whatever that thing is that people do to disconnect from a bad idea for a short period, maybe you could just for a couple of weeks, stop “reporting” on stupid shit that’s meaningless.
Dear Funeral Service People,
There is one right way to bury the dead and that is barely covered and back in the ground. Ashes to ashes isn’t just a neat line from the Bible, it’s the best suggestion there is for how to handle a body once the spirit has left the stage.
Shrouded or in a simple pine box and in the ground, 3-4 feet under.
Your shenanigans around embalming, make-up, fancy air-tight caskets, trying to convince grieving people that they are doing the dead a disservice by not buying the most expensive burial plan possible are abhorrent. Preying on people in their time of loss, and even convincing people they need to purchase a burial plot years, sometimes generations in advance is going to cost you one day. I know you’ve heard of karma, the great equalizer in life and in death; look around your conference room today and if there’s a funereal urn there that costs more than a cookie jar at Target, you may very well be in for … well… who am I to judge? I know you know in your heart what do the right thing means. Ponder it the next time you charge Grandpa Earl four thousand dollars to turn his late wife into an embalmed toxic dump site complete with clown make-up and a snazzy hair-do.
Dead is dead. The dead don’t need statuary, a silk-lined casket or perpetual care of the ground above them. The very best way we can come to terms with loss is to care for and bury the dead ourselves. If we can bury Buster in the backyard, giving our beloved Schnauzer back to the insects and earth and plant roots, then we can do it for ourselves, too.
Dear Whoever Invented Rainbows,
You made some amazing ones yesterday. First when we were in South Burlington, taking a walk together to catch up and try to lift some of the sorrow that was in the house because our friend and wife and mother is in hospice and fading fast. I turned around to see what the plane was that was making a big noise and there it was … a horizontal and kind of pastel rainbow in the sky. Perfection. So kind.
Then later, almost home, there was one that was giant, vibrant and it was so awesome that people were pulling over to look. I know it was to take a photo for Instagram or maybe Facebook or whatever mode of bragging people use, but we enjoyed it for what it was: totally inspiring and joyful. You are amazing and your timing stellar, Giant Rainbow Painter.
Be safe out there today, everyone, and let’s all make this