Too Low
It was very, very interesting to see how my last piece, Louder, resonated with so many people, women in particular.
No surprise, however.
A couple of things from this past week that may or may not play into this same idea, that life is ours for the molding (and that if schools were better at educating kids they’d teach one critical truth: you are capable of doing anything you decide you want to do).
On Wednesday I drove way, way north, to a town on the New York/Canadian border. There I had lunch with some lovely people, most of them friendly through the church they attend there. I sat near a sweet little elder woman with the kind of face that makes you think she’s judging most things. I know those things don’t really mesh together, but somehow they did in her.
She told me about their withering church (not news, I hear it all the time) and that they had found it impossible to hire a new organist when they needed one. Then she told me that they had bought a piece of equipment that has all the hymns programmed into it and you just press a button, choose your tempo and bam, music. But, she said, leaning in and quieting to a whisper, I hate it when things change.
I try not to ooffend old people, so I shook my head in solidarity. What I really wanted to to was say, Yes, dear, I know it’s hard, but change is the hallmark of everything in life.
I also wanted to say, that’s the reason your church is dying, darling. But I thought she should enjoy her BLT and not be faced with some hard truths by this obnoxious out of town pastor.
EVERYTHING IS CHANGING ALL THE TIME, people. You can either get on board or become bitter and divisive. This is especially true in churchlandia. There is a flow to life, a meaningful one, and if you’re not in it then you’re, as the salmon know well, swimming upstream. Or, worse, you’re standing on the banks watching it pass you by.
Oh how I have withstood the wrath of the churchy folks who DO NOT WANT ONE THING TO CHANGE. I have dealt with angry matrons who have told me, in an angry matron voice (shudder), that this church is not what it was ten years ago! I listened to a former husband angrily tell the marriage counselor she’s not the person I married!
Cue to the eye roll.
Truly, who has the time?
And good luck with that.
People, life is so interesting, so weird and cool, why not participate fully in the mystery unraveling before you this very moment? Why not look upon it with awe and wonder? Sure there might be some muck, maybe a few icky creatures down there (switching in my mind from a river to lake metaphor here), but my god it all goes by so fast. Don’t tell me you don’t like to swim (or dance or eat or try something you’ve never done); life is not for controlling and the harder you try the slipperier it will get. Like a little game. And life will always win. Because life is bigger and stronger than you and me combined.
Sam Cooke said it better than I: A change is gonna come.
To which I would add, invite it in for snacks.
Then I ran into this story WO! This woman, phenom, runner, Courtney Dauwalter, and I became a teensy obsessed. Not with the running part, with the most people hold the bar too low and if we can just stay strong in our heads and change our mindset to something useful and positive, we can usually achieve way more than what we initially thought part.
Way more.
I talk about this all the time, the power of your thoughts to shape your reality. Courtney is experimenting with it all the time, and the results are astonishing. She is living the ideas I understand to be true: that life is a giant research project and we are here to test the limits of what’s possible, not settle for the mediocre bullshit everyone on your path has tried to convince you to settle for.
I mean, truly, looking back over your life, did anyone tell you that you could achieve anything you want by focusing your mind and being very clear about the results you’re seeking?
Probably not. But those fifteen (more?) years in school writing papers, taking tests and reading textbooks was awesome, wasn’t it? That stuff has served you super well, I bet.
DO NOT SETTLE. Just checking to be sure you heard that part. It’s never too late to start not settling. If you’re still alive (assuming you are, but I super hope I can still read when I’m dead) today’s the day.
I mean, think of the implications in terms of the progress of humankind. If we all gave this a go, literally chose to improve our own lives in whatever way makes sense to us, this would no doubt increase the joy quotient on the planet (Courtney’s fuel is joy and she runs 100 and 200 mile races!!) and when joy goes up then depression and anxiety go down and when that starts to happen everywhere then maybe, just maybe, I’m gonna stretch the idea way, way out there for a sec, then maybe we will be done with war once and for all.
Wouldn’t that be cool? No more war? No more of that seething male anger taken out on innocent humans with weapons?
God I would love it if we could end that insanely idiotic habit we have.
Truth of the matter is it starts with you and me. And it’s not this living my best life bullshit you see all over the socials, either. Courtney is the perfect, and I mean perfect example of humanity. She wears basic clothes, doesn’t have a coach, she eats whatever she feels like eating and, if you watch any of the little films about her, you see that her trophies and medals are in boxes stuck in the back storage area of her house. She’s running because she loves being out in nature and she loves the feeling of running and she wants to see how far she can go and she does not care about much beyond that and her beloved crew.
In other words, she’s humble, she’s funny, she refuses to buy into any of the nonsense most of us have come to believe as true. She has cut through the morass of life to what really matters and she puts it all on display through her running.
A prophet in basketball shorts. Bettering men and women in really long, grueling races, sometimes by an hour or more.
Study her for a bit and then integrate some of it into your own life.
It’s my parents’ 60th anniversary and I’m taking my (amazing and VERY alive) friend, Mary Ellen, out for a birthday breakfast, so I gotta run; apologies for any typos. I just wanted you, kind reader, to have some of that to chew on today.
I think the ultimate goal of ending war is a good one, don’t you? So maybe today you get laser focused on what it is you want in this life, be clear, fix it in your head, say it out loud, lots and lots of times. Then step into the river and play. Play with life.
Glad you got married, cute parents. Then had us four who had nine more who had two more (so far). Good call! xo!